At the tender age of 82 my father likes nothing better than to fix things. He can fix a myriad of objects, cars, and of course, broken hearts. Although age has affected what things he can physically repair himself, he'll do his very best to keep things in tip-top condition to preserve them as long as possible.
Over the summer I watched as he carefully cleaned out the filters of the vacuum cleaner. His work was meticulous and I couldn't help think I'd never touched the filters in my own appliance.
As he went about his task he did what he does best: explain what he's doing and why. Often I'll zone out as he does like detail, but this time I watched in admiration as his hands that are scarred from decades of DIY went about their work.
After explaining the need to constantly maintain and care for things so they'll last, he gave a satisfactory smile as he plugged in the hoover and saw that it had a new lease of life.
It made me think about all things he's fixed over the years. It also made me realize not only how talented he was, but how much money he'd saved.
Would I be able to do what he can? Not one bit. I don't have the patience, the knowledge, and I'd argue, the time. (Although that's a weak excuse I know as if I took the time to care for things properly I wouldn't have to use money I'd spent time earning in replacing them!)
The need to nurture
Yet, there's a greater lesson to be learned here. While we should make the effort to consume less and care for our things, we must apply this to people as well. Whether this friends, family or romantic partners. By nurturing our relationships we get so much more from them.
If you consider the current online dating situation, everyone is so replaceable. No effort is made to build a relationship as, well, that takes effort and there's bound to be a new shinier model waiting around the corner.
In terms of bonds with friends and family, people are so quickly labeled as "toxic" or "narcissistic" and are cast out of our lives, and new friends come along who fit the bill at that particular moment, until they don't...
If everything is so replaceable then all meaning is lost. There's no need to grow and learn from what we've nurtured.
We reap what we sow
While my father is quite a simple man, he has unwittingly refused to replace anything or anyone throughout his life. He still has the tools he has fixed and tinkered with for decades. He still has some of the friends he went to school with when he was five -- as for the priests who taught them, their patience must have known no bounds!
Likewise he still has my mother, whom he has been married to for nearly 60 years, by his side; their relationship constantly growing and changing as they accompany each other through the different seasons of their lives.
Therefore, if there's something my father reinforced in me this summer as he battled with screws and filters, it's to cherish what we have and abandon the belief that everything is replaceable. Quite simply, it's not.
While my father has exceptional DIY skills, I appreciate not all of us do. Thankfully we can always learn from online tutorials, or even ask a friendly neighbor or relative, and look for spiritual intercession from the ultimate DIYer, St. Joseph!
But it's important to show our kids through example that we repair, we maintain, we cherish. Whether it's objects, people, or of course, our relationship with God. As we do these things, we will truly reap what we sow.
